Now and Forever
by Cyanide Anytime
Summary: Cyanide can’t take it anymore and decides life isn’t worth it, but what about Skids? Cyanide/Skids Angst and Romance. It's got a happy ending, of course! Shibby.


Now and Forever

Summary: Cyanide can't take it anymore and decides life isn't worth it, but what about Skids?

Pairing: Cyanide/Skids of course!

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: Sandra Delete owns them all. She owns BMB and thus, all shall worship her.

~*~

Skids and Harley were sitting on the couch; Cyanide was, surprisingly, in Mikhael's studio. Cya had walked into the apartment a few minutes earlier only to demand Harley to tell him where Rasputin was. Harley had blinked a couple of times, lately Cya was going to Mik to talk to, and it was rather surprising, but he still had pointed to the studio and Cya had walked off.

Skids was quite happy really, he knew it was mean, but with Cya gone, he could spend more time with Harley. But the more time Skids spent with Harley, the more he realized that he didn't like his best friend. Sure, Harls was cute and sweet, but he was just a really good friend. This didn't limit him to sulking around though, he was living it up. Without Cya's sulking and angsty behavior, Harls and he could go around being the juvenile boys that they were. He felt bad about not wanting Cya around, but Cya had taken comfort in Mik, so there was nothing to worry about, right?

~*~

"What did you want, Torres?" Mik said, not bothering to look up from his painting.

Cyanide Torres sighed and flopped down into an empty chair. "I can't take it. I hate my life."

Mik looked up and set his paints down, "What do you mean by that?" giving Cyanide a look that could have been exactly reproduced by his mother.

The younger boy sighed again. "I don't know Rasputin. I feel dead already. My life has no purpose without _him next to me. I'm like a walking zombie, I want to die, but I can't. I can't die because of _him_. What would happen to _him_ if I was gone? What would _he_ think of me? Before nothing mattered to me, before I knew that I loved him, now it does. Everything I do reminds me of him, and frankly, Rasputin, I can't take it anymore."_

Mik smoothed back his perfectly gelled hair with his hand in thought. Cyanide _had_ been acting like a walking zombie. He was more of a shell of Cya than a real thing. He no longer had any feeling or opinion. It was true, Cya was dying slowly from the inside, out, without the one that he loved.

"Tor... Cyanide, why don't you just tell him? As far as I can tell, you can't get any worse than you are, you barely look alive. What do you have to lose? If you _don't_ tell him, you'll just get worse, and only god knows what will happen to you."

The punk stopped to think. "But, Mik, if he never loved me back… I know he would hate me if I told him…And I could never live if I saw him unhappy. Rasputin, he's happy _now_. Don't you see? He's happy without me around. It's better off this way."

"Then why did you come here, if you already had your mind set?"

"Because Mikhael, I wanted you to tell Skids how I felt. And I wanted to say goodbye." The few seconds it took for Cyanide Torres to turn around and head towards the door seemed to turn into minutes for Mik. It was only then did he noticed how Cya's eyes had darkened, and seemed sunk back into his head. His hair wasn't spiked like usual, instead it hung down messily and wasn't given the outright attention it needed. It was then that Mik noticed the numerous scars on his new friend's arms. Since when had they been there? Maybe no one ever noticed because Cya wouldn't do anything like that. Maybe they blended in with his toffee colored skin. But maybe, no one cared enough to look. Mik noticed how the tears brimmed in Cya's eyes, he was ready to leave, ready to let his love go unnoticed. He could see all of this, and how desperately Cya wanted it, but Mik couldn't ever let that happen. But before anything could be done, the door slammed in his face, and Torres was gone from his studio. 

~*~

Harley and Skids were still sitting on the couch when Mik's studio door was pulled open sharply and a brooding, and rather fast moving, Cya walked out. He was heading strait for the door of the apartment, but Skids didn't want his best friend to go. Yes, he was happy without Cya sometimes, eager to spend alone time with Harley, but without Cy, there was something missing. His heart felt half empty. DiAngelo and Torres had been the best of friends since middle school, they were two halves, and together they made a whole. Skids hated it when his best friend was in a bad mood, because then, something in the world wasn't right.

"Cya! We were just going to watch some Buffy tapes, wanna stay?" He chirped, feeling Harley smile next to him, beckoning their friend to stay.

Cyanide looked at them with determined eyes. "No. You go ahead, don't wait up for me." Skids felt bruised inside; this was one of the only times that Cya looked at him like that, let alone said no. It hurt, it hurt him deeply, and then he knew something was wrong. Cya never would hurt him, not meaning to. Not unless there was something wrong with _Cya. _

But before Skids could do anything, he was answered by a slam of the door.

"Wha--"

Before Skids could say anything, Mik came bursting through his door of the studio. He grabbed Skids and Harley and quickly followed after Cya.

~*~

"Skids, do you know what he meant by 'Don't wait up for me.'?" Harley, the small blond, questioned.

Mikhael cursed under his breath. "Did he say that?" When Harley nodded, Mik became more distressed, and quickened his pace.

"Mik, what's wrong?" Harley asked his lover. Something about this didn't add up right. Cya wasn't ever this unhappy, and since when did Mik know more about Cya than he did? _His best friend. Well, other than Skids. Harley had always been a bit jealous of the bond that Cya and Skids shared, but he got to spend more time with Skids now, so everything was fine, wasn't it? That look that he saw in Cya's eyes for a that brief second told him otherwise; no, everything's _not_ fine._

The trio walked the rest of the way in complete silence. Mik took long strides, hoping to get to his new friend's house faster. Harley thus had to quicken his pace to short fast strides, trying to keep up with his boyfriend. Skids shuffled along behind the two. This was another reason that he had enjoyed his alone time with Harley, Mik and him were inseparable. When Skids was around, he felt like the third wheel. Why wasn't Cy there? He made it so that they would be not the other wheels, but a whole new car. He and Cya were part of each other, and whenever they were around the other it just felt _right._ Deep down inside, it felt perfect. It was true happiness to Skids, pure bliss. It was better than a shiny nickel. Even better than magic marker tattoos. And, even though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, it was better than Buffy. The look that Cya had given him crushed him, though. Skids wanted to tell Cya how he felt. He wanted to say, "Cyanide Torres. You are a part of me and I love you." But he couldn't. Cya could never love him back. Cya liked girls. And Skids didn't want to ruin their friendship, no, that was the last thing that he wanted to do.

Before Skids even realized it, the three of them were standing in front of the Torres household and Mik was ringing the doorbell.

A small pair of eyes appeared when the door was cracked open, they blinked, and then the door was closed again. They could hear a scream. "Momma, the big hairy man is back again!" Mrs. Torres opened the door for the boys a couple seconds later. "Hello boys. Came to see Cyanide? He's in his room. I haven't seen much of him today, maybe you can make him feel better, hmm?" And she retreated back into her kitchen.

Skids lead the way to Cya's room, knowing it better than anyone else. He knew the Torres house like the back of his hand, maybe even better than one of the Torres children themselves. Opening the door to Cya's room was a liberating experience. Skids saw his friend like he had never seen him before. Cya was sitting on his bed, facing the wall, slumped over from crying. And he was cradling a knife in his hands, his tears staining the blade.

"C...Cy!" Skids ran over to his friend, and enveloped him in his loving arms. Not anymore caring what anyone thought. Skids nuzzled his head in his friends neck, looking for some comfort himself. He hated seeing his friend like this…his _love_ like this. But what he wanted and what he hated weren't important right now, the only thing that was really important was Cya. Skids carefully took the knife away from Cya's sobbing form and placed it in a drawer in the bedside table, and he hugged his friend once more.

Harley tugged at Mik's sleeve. "We should go." He whispered, and his love nodded, no questions needed.

Cya tried to choke out words of explanation to his friend who was now the only other person in the room. "Skids…I…I'm…I didn't mean…never again…please...forgive me?" Cya pushed Skids arms off of him and tried to regain his composure while looking his friend, his love, in the eyes.

"If only you'll forgive me."

Cya raised his eyebrows, somehow making his bloodshot eyes more visible. "What?"

Skids DiAngelo swallowed, ready for his life to over, ready to lose his best friend. But he just couldn't take it any longer. "I know you will hate me, but I have to tell you any way. I love you, Cyanide Torres. I always have and I always will. If you want, I can leave now."

Skids got up to go, but was stopped by a smiling Cya, who had grabbed him by the arms. "I love you too Skids. Now and forever." And he pulled him in for a kiss. A kiss that wasn't to play a joke on a friend. It wasn't so that they would just look like a couple. It was a kiss between friends, lovers, and it would be cherished between them forever.

Skid's eyes gleamed. "Shibby."

~~~End~~~_he_jkldsa_, _, a


End file.
